


Afloat (on a Sea of Love)

by suitesamba



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Divorced Harry, Humor, M/M, Old Men In Love, Snarry-A-Thon18, adult Potter children, cruise ships and Quidditch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 03:37:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14487996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suitesamba/pseuds/suitesamba
Summary: In their autumn years, Harry and Severus finally find each other and, though Harry’s kids object, decide to take a cruise to celebrate their budding relationship. Back home, Lily, Al and James have ample time to discuss just exactly why they object to Severus as they sit through a Hogwarts Quidditch game. When their old headmistress Minerva McGonagall joins them in the stands, she opens their eyes about their dad and Severus. Featuring old men in love (and in Speedos), a Quidditch game that will not end, Minerva the match-maker, and a seven-year old wedding planner.





	Afloat (on a Sea of Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Having been on one too many cruise with my cruise-obsessed mother-in-law, I will attest that every cruise element of this story is drawn from something I witnessed, from the questions in the Newlywed Game to the Washy-Washy ladies (they spray your hands with disinfectant when you board or go into the buffet) to the mid-morning deck walkers to the towel animals. However, if there are cabins with hot tubs, I most assuredly did not experience them. I’m lucky to get a window.
> 
> Prompts: (41) Harry's kids do NOT approve of his new relationship with Severus Snape. (53) Harry decides he needs a vacation, and since he's never even seen the ocean, he decides to go on a cruise. Naturally, Snape is there, too, and, after some sniping, they decide they may as well hang out. Things progress and soon they're sharing a cabin. What happens when they get home?

“It’s embarrassing,” said Lily, brandishing the postcard with its exotic stamp and photograph of stone ruins poking out of a tangled jungle. She dropped her head into her hands with an exaggerated groan and Al grabbed the postcard as it fluttered downward. He rolled his eyes, and anyone who knew him well would know he was amused. 

“First there was zip-lining in Costa Rica and a clothing-optional resort in Belize,” lamented Lily, “and now a romantic cruise through the Panama Canal. Dad and Mum never….” 

“Well, at least they’re having a _fabulous_ time,” cut in Al before she could go down _that_ path, once again, of ‘things Dad’s doing with Snape that he never did with Mum.’ He exaggerated the word fabulous, as Harry had underlined it. Twice. “It says so right here, right before the part about watching the sunset.” He cleared his throat. “‘Severus and I watched the sun set over the Caribbean last night, our first night on the ship out of Miami, while we splurged on a bottle of champagne and soaked in our private hot tub.’”

“He’ll have a coronary,” predicted James, who generally didn’t get excited about things. “People die in hot tubs all the time - _especially_ when they’re drinking.”

“Mum loves champagne,” said Lily with a long and sad sigh.

“James, you’re no fun since you married Hallie,” Al noted. “I can’t believe you let Rich play Quidditch.”

“Al – leave him be,” scolded Lily. “You’d be the same way if your wife was a pediatric healer.”

“Good thing I married a Junior League Quidditch coach then, eh?” Al quipped.

“I didn’t know cruise ship staterooms even _had_ hot tubs,” said Lily, back on subject again. “Everyone says those rooms are so tiny you can barely turn around in them. The hot tub is probably so small they had to wedge themselves together to fit in it.”

“They probably used coconut oil,” Al added, under his breath.

“Ewwww!” James looked permanently scarred. He shuddered. “Snape in a hot tub. Stop. Just…stop.”

“Oh wait – you don’t…they wouldn’t….” Lily looked up at her brothers, face stricken. “You don’t think they’re using _magic_ , do you? Wizarding space? Not there - not with all those Muggles.”

“Lils – get a grip.” Al rolled his eyes and sighed. “Look - they booked a honeymoon suite. Six hundred square feet of decadence with plenty of room for a hot tub. Didn’t you read the cruise literature Dad left lying about?”

“I didn’t think he’d really do it.” James leaned back on the riser behind him and stretched out his feet. “I mean – Dad’s _old_! And Snape….”

“Is _ancient_ ,” declared Lily. “And he’s so unpleasant – I don’t know what in the world Dad sees in him. He and Mum get along just fine – there’s no reason in the world they had to get divorced to ‘explore life more fully.’ They were perfectly capable of exploring life while still married to each other.”

“Wait –” cut in James, finally catching up with the conversation. “Why would Dad and Snape have a honeymoon suite? They’re not even married.”

“Anyone can book a honeymoon suite,” Al assured him, chancing a glance at Lily, but she seemed no more riled up about this detail than any other. “They don’t ask to see your marriage license. I suppose they just wanted the extra amenities.”

“Like a heart-shaped hot tub,” sighed Lily. “What if this gets out? What if people find out our 67-year-old divorced father is on a month-long Caribbean getaway with _Snape_?”

They exchanged glances, sighed a collective sigh, and turned their heads back to the Quidditch game. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had lost their Seekers to the infirmary in a bizarre mid-air crash an hour and a half into the game. The back-up Seekers had been in the game since, and by all appearances, had never actually caught a Snitch before. They were into hour six of the game and the stands were looking sparse. Lily’s husband and James’ wife had used a sudden cloudburst two hours ago as an excuse to bundle up the younger children and leave early. 

“You know, I’d rather watch this game than see Dad in a hot tub with Snape,” James said, glancing at the scoreboard. It read 740 to 680.

“They also played volleyball in their swimming shorts,” offered Al, digging out his magically-modified mobile to show them a photo. “Dad sent this one a few days ago. Look.”

Lily stifled a screech and James threw his hands over his eyes.

“My retinas! You’ve scorched my retinas!” he exclaimed.

“I can’t believe he’s texting internationally,” said Lily. “Those texts costs a fortune, and his phone is on my plan!”

“I can’t believe he was out in public in a _Speedo_ ,” said James. “He’s not exactly a _Witch’s Weekly_ centerfold these days.”

“Dad? What about Snape? I can’t unsee that,” moaned Lily. “You can’t tell where the white sand ends and his legs begin.”

“Well, personally, I’d rather look at Snape’s legs than Arthur’s handlebar mustache.” Al sighed, and they all leaned forward as the Ravenclaw Seeker took a sudden dive. They held their breaths and…no. She nearly fell off her broom as she lunged to the side but ultimately came up with nothing but air. They heaved a collective sigh.

“There’s nothing wrong with his mustache,” snapped Lily, as if the conversation hadn’t been interrupted by the hope of an end to this game, even with a Ravenclaw win. “It’s a personal expression. It makes him stand out from all the other referees. Mum thinks it’s distinguished.”

“Why are you defending him?” asked James. “You _hate_ him. You think he’s all wrong for her. You think he’s a publicity hound. You think he’s after Dad’s money. You think he’s far too young for her.” He ticked off the list with a practiced air. 

“Well, he’s not Dad,” pouted Lily. “He’s exceedingly _dull_ but really, his mustache is about the _best_ thing he has to offer.”

“What you mean is he’s not Snape,” Al clarified for her. 

Lily shot him a sullen look while James rolled his eyes. There was always quite a bit of sighing, eye rolling and glaring going on among the siblings when they discussed their parents and their current love interests. “At least Snape doesn’t have the same name as our _grandfather_ ,” he said.

“Yeah, but he’s _old_ enough to be our grandfather.”

“And Arthur is only nine years older than James!!” Al shot back.

“Your father is happy. Severus is happy. They’re happy _together_.”

They turned, almost as one, as the voice of their old headmistress, Minerva McGonagall, interrupted their argument. At well past one hundred and ten, and only recently retired from Hogwarts, she was still going strong, and rarely missed a Gryffindor Quidditch game. 

“You know?” asked Lily in a hushed voice.

“I’d love to shout it from the rooftops. I’ve been hoping for years they’d finally get their heads out of their arses and see what was right in front of their faces.” She nudged her cane between James and Lily until they scooted over and made room for her on the bench. 

“Years?” Al exchanged a surprised look with his siblings. “How many years, exactly?”

Minerva smiled. “How old are you, Albus _Severus_?”

“Forty-one….” Al’s voice trailed off, and he dropped his head into his hands and groaned. “No. Just…no.”

“Even before I was born,” moaned Lily. 

“Now don’t get your knickers in a twist, young lady,” admonished Minerva with a conspiratorial wink in Al’s direction. “Your parents were dead-set on having their little girl, and raising you lot took all their time and more. He had no time for dalliances with Severus or anyone, not that he’d ever have considered it. But frankly, young lady, he finished raising you more than twenty years ago.”

“But Dad didn’t even know Snape until that Floo accident last year,” James interjected.

“Oh?” Minerva gave a saucy smile. “What accident was that?”

~ ~ ~Somewhere in the Caribbean ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, on a ship making its way toward Cartagena, and from there into the Panama Canal, two women made their way slowly around deck seven, checking their step count frequently on the fitness devices strapped to their wrists. They were clearly more interested in people-watching than exercise, however, and the ship certainly offered ample opportunities for both.

“What an unusual scar! Look at that, Claire. It looks just like a bolt of lightning! How do you imagine he got it?”

“Car accident, I think, Irma,” said Claire, brushing her vividly red hair out of her eyes. She used the same sort of almost stage-whisper her friend had used. “Probably went right through the windshield. It’s a wonder he lived.”

“He’s probably a bit addled,” suggested the first woman. “Needs looking after – doesn’t he? How sweet of his father to come along to mind him on this trip. Probably one of those Make-a-Wish thingies.”

“You do realise we can hear you, do you not?”

Severus, stretched out comfortably on a deck lounge, lowered his book and glared at the two women, removing his sunglasses and pushing up the brim of his hat for greater effect. He did not expect the women to giggle.

“I thought you might be sleeping,” said Irma weakly.

“You thought I was old and deaf,” countered Severus.

“Aren’t you?” asked Claire, a bit saucily and yes, a bit flirtatiously as well. 

“Not as old as the vicar you’re seeing at home,” Severus responded. Harry, who’d been feigning sleep beside him, choked back a snort. He normally didn’t approve of using Legilimency but this seemed like a fair exception. “Not deaf, and not his father. If I were his father, I most certainly wouldn’t do _this_.”

He reached over toward Harry and slowly, and quite deliberately, pinched his nipple through his shirt.

Harry, whose eyes were still closed and who was clearly not anticipating a pinch to the nipple, yelped.

“Stop that, Dad!” he exclaimed, swatting at Severus’ hand.

Severus let his hand fall casually to his side and turned his attention back to his book, pretending not to notice the scandalized look on Claire’s face as she scurried away, towing Irma by the hand.

“I’d never have suggested a cruise if I’d known you were going to be such trouble,” Harry said, reaching out for Severus’ hand and squeezing it fondly.

“I’d never have consented to come had I known you’d be such a _commodity_. I assumed two old men, obviously queer, would escape the notice of everyone on board.”

“Ha!” Harry grinned and scooted up on his lounge chair with some difficulty. The book he’d been reading toppled onto the deck and he grunted as he leaned down to pick it up. 

“You need to stretch more,” commented Severus. Only a slight twitch of his lip showed his amusement at Harry’s predicament.

“I am not getting up with you for yoga at six in the morning,” Harry said. “And I think we’re not going to escape anyone’s notice anymore – not after you let us get dragged into the Newlywed Game last night.”

Severus suppressed another smile as he held up his hand to study the new gold band on his left ring finger. “They asked who’d been married the shortest time,” he mused. “I thought the length of our marriage might qualify us for a prize.”

“Less than two hours?” Harry held his own hand up beside Severus’, then entwined their hands together. “You do know that they’ll be broadcasting that silly game show on the cruise channel in all the staterooms,” he said. “Everyone will know the weirdest place we’ve ever made whoopee.”

“Shagged,” said Severus, drolly, rolling his eyes. “And honestly, Harry – in the loo at your daughter’s house during your grandson’s birthday party? Really?”

“Well I had to say _something_ ,” grumbled Harry.

“Doing it in _bed_ at our age is accomplishment enough,” Severus said, but there was almost a twinkle in his dark eyes, and Harry smiled and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on the corner of Severus’ mouth.

“We could have won if you’d answered the questions truthfully,” Harry said. He pulled down the brim of Severus’ straw hat so that it kept the sun off his nose as it was meant to do.

Severus gave Harry a meaningful look. He knew exactly which question Harry was referring to.

“The winning couple got a bottle of champagne and two water bottles branded with the cruise line’s logo. It wasn’t worth it.”

“You didn’t know that at the time!” protested Harry. “For all we knew, the prize could have been a free cruise.”

“I cannot understand why you feel you have been short-changed in that department, and why I would care,” Severus stated with a longsuffering sigh as he directed the conversation back to the game’s questions.

“You’ve been given a magic wand,” Harry said, quoting the cruise director who’d acted as game show host. “You can make ….”

“I already have a wand,” Severus cut in. 

“ _You can make_ ,” repeated Harry with a glare, “one part of his body larger and one part of yours smaller. Remember – answer for your partner. Severus – which part of Harry’s body will he say you’d like to see a bit bigger?” Harry waggled his eyebrows in a fair imitation of the cruise director. “Or perhaps quite a bit bigger?” Harry shook his head then dropped back in his lounge chair. “And is there any part of your body, Severus – any part at _all_ \- that he’d like to see a tad bit smaller?”

Severus raised an eyebrow and turned a page of his book, even though it was clear he wasn’t really reading. 

“My dick – your nose! It’s obvious. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not – it’s the obvious answer.”

Severus turned another page, pretending to ignore his husband.

“My _nipples_ , Severus? Your _testicles_?”

“I was just having a bit of fun,” Severus said. “Merlin knows I deserve it after all these years of staid sobriety.”

“Well, it certainly got a laugh,” said Harry, rolling his eyes. But he gave Severus a rather fond look, and reached over to gently pinch the end of his husband’s generous nose. “And for what it’s worth, I like your nose just exactly how it is.”

“And I your cock,” Severus said. “It is perfectly average in size, nicely proportioned, and certainly nothing to be ashamed about, despite what the former Mrs. Potter claims.”

“Wha – Ginny didn’t…doesn’t…wouldn’t… What did you hear?”

“You’re ridiculous.” Severus settled back onto his lounge chair with a smug expression and appeared to actually start reading his book. He reached out and took Harry’s hand and entwined their fingers, then rested their joined hands on his thigh. “And incredibly easy to rile up. I’d have thought all those years of having little Potters running around would have improved your ability to tell when the wool was being pulled over your eyes.”

“Hmph.” Harry pretended to pout, but he squeezed Severus’ hand nonetheless. They sat in companionable silence for some time, watching the morning promenade of walkers circling the deck. 

“I can’t believe we did it,” he said at last. “I can’t believe we got married in a chapel on a cruise ship with our cabin steward and a washy-washy lady as witnesses.”

“We only invited the cabin steward for his towel monkey,” Severus offered, dryly.

“I can’t believe I live in a world where we not only know what towel animals are, but one participated in our wedding.”

Severus’ thumb caressed the back of Harry’s hand. “This is not what I expected,” he said after a long, thoughtful moment. 

“You didn’t expect to get married in cotton trousers and flip flops on a cruise ship with a towel monkey in attendance?”

Severus squeezed Harry’s hand, then raised it, still entwined with his own, and kissed it.

“No,” he said quietly. “You. Spending the rest of my days with you is not how I expected to live out my miserable existence.”

“Not so miserable now, is it?” whispered Harry, leaning over to kiss him.

“No,” said Severus, wiping his thumb across Harry’s lightning bolt scar with a rather pleased expression on his still severe face. “But we’re not home, and you have three children there – none of them yet convinced that I am the right choice of partner for their father. I cannot help but worry that they might make your existence miserable when they discover why we booked this cruise.”

“I left plenty of clues,” Harry noted. “We booked the _honeymoon_ suite.”

“You denied it when Al challenged you on that,” Severus countered.

“Of course I did. But since when do my children listen to _anything_ I say?”

“Duly noted.” Severus leaned forward. “Raise my chair back a notch, if you would,” he said, and adjusted his position as Harry complied. “Lily certainly went ahead with her ill-advised marriage to that Bulgarian Quidditch player when she was – how old? Twenty?”

“Nineteen,” Harry grumbled. “Victor Krum. Old enough to be her father. That lasted all of four years – just long enough to have Andrea and find him in bed with Al’s father-in-law.”

“Ah. _That_ father-in-law.” Severus rolled his eyes. “Which broke up Al’s marriage as well, when Scorpius sided with his father.”

“Al broke Corinne’s heart,” Harry added. “Choosing Scorpius over her. But when she married Scorpius after the divorce, I didn’t think he’d ever recover. I warned him about Scor….”

“He’s happy now,” Severus cut in, squeezing Harry’s hand. “We all make mistakes when we’re young.” He didn’t enumerate his own, but he, perhaps unconsciously, rubbed his wrist.

“They won’t make me miserable now,” Harry insisted. “ _They_ may be miserable for a time, but it’s proper repayment for all they put me through when they were choosing their own partners.”

“They’ll have something to say about it nonetheless,” Severus said. “And I will join you in going on with our lives. I don’t have enough time left on this earth to waste any in squabbling with adults, Potters or not. Ron and Hermione have come around – your children will eventually come around as well.”

“Stop that - you have loads of time left,” said Harry, rather fondly, though with a shadowed note of melancholy in his voice.

Severus simply arched an eyebrow in answer but Harry looked contemplative.

“Al might be the one to win over. He has more influence on James and Lils than they have on him. And Merlin knows he’s had his heart broken enough times, and he certainly knows what it’s like to find the right one at last.”

“Soulmate,” murmured Severus. “I only regret that it took me this long to get my head out of my arse.”

“Sounds like something Minerva would say,” chuckled Harry. “And to think we have a ridiculous Floo accident to thank.”

“Perhaps it was fate after all.”

“You don’t believe in fate.”

“Nor do I believe in coincidences,” countered Severus. “Yet here we are.”

“Here we are,” repeated Harry. He traced the veins on the back of Severus’ hand. “Do I look as happy as I feel?” he asked.

Severus turned his head and stared at him a long moment. “Yes,” he said. “I believe you do.”

“Good,” said Harry. He looked up to see Irma and Claire approaching as they slowly lapped the deck, but he let them pass and held out his mobile to a young couple strolling arm in arm behind them.

“Would you mind taking our photo?” he asked, gesturing to Severus.

The young woman took the mobile. “By the railing?” she asked with the kind of smile she might give her grandmother. She stepped back to wait for them to get into position.

“How about right here instead?” asked Harry, maneuvering onto the end of Severus’ lounge chair and scooting back between his legs. He tucked himself back against Severus’ chest, ignoring the twitch in his back, and Severus wrapped a wiry arm around his middle. And while Severus didn’t exactly _smile_ , he did deign to look in the general direction of the camera as the woman took several shots. She handed the mobile back to Harry then waited while he checked the photos.

“Thank you – these are great,” he said with a smile. He thumbed through them again. “How about this one, Severus?”

“We look like we’ve given up on personal hygiene,” Severus murmured, studying the photo over Harry’s shoulder as the couple walked away. “You need a shave and my hair is plastered to the side of my face.”

“It’s perfect,” countered Harry. “The kids will love it. Shows that we’re human and not the perfect gods they imagine us to be.”

Severus snorted.

“It’s nearly midnight in London,” he noted. “We’ll have an entire evening to enjoy before your mobile lights up like a Christmas tree.”

“You exaggerate,” Harry said, slipping the mobile into his pocket after sending the photo, and tipping his head back to kiss Severus’ cheek. “They’re just having a hard time seeing me with anybody but their mum. They’ll come around – in the end, they just want me to be happy.”

“They’re about to find out their father married a former Death Eater on a cruise ship off the coast of Colombia,” Severus said drolly.

Harry laughed. “I doubt they can infer that from a ….”

He abruptly stopped, frantically pulled the mobile from his pocket and studied the photo he’d just sent to Al. An odd look crossed his face, and he squinted and brought the screen closer to his face.

“You knew. You KNEW!” he exclaimed. He dropped his head back onto Severus’ sternum, which elicited a loud – and perhaps exaggerated – fit of coughing. The transgression was momentarily forgotten while Severus sputtered and got his breath back.

“They may not notice,” Severus said once he had recovered. Harry had scooted over to his own lounge chair and was looking decidedly green.

“ _Al_ may not notice. James definitely won’t notice. But Lils?” Harry groaned. “ _Lils_ will notice.”

“Perhaps if they hadn’t caught the sun….”

“There’s practically a rainbow shooting out from our rings,” Harry moaned. “With leprechauns dancing about. They’ll notice.”

“Well, at least we won’t be around for the theatrics.” Severus picked up his book again and reached out and squeezed Harry’s hand. “And there is a chance that Al won’t share the photograph.”

Harry relaxed minutely. “Right. It’s not like the kids live that close to each other, and James doesn’t even have a mobile. They’re all busy with their jobs and kids….”

“Harry.” Severus used his sexy classroom voice which always made Harry take notice. “We have eight more days until we reach Los Angeles. Turn off that blasted device and enjoy the rest of our honeymoon with me. I do believe I can make the lift malfunction again long enough for a short rendezvous.”

“Not too short,” laughed Harry. “It takes me a while to get down on my knees these days.”

Severus smiled, and Harry felt nineteen all over again.

~ ~ ~On the Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch ~ ~ ~

“Let me see it!”

Lily lunged for the mobile in Al’s hands, dropping her corned beef sandwich in the process.

“It’s not even all the way loaded yet – stop that!”

He batted away her hands and Lily picked up her mangled sandwich, looking at it sadly.

“I heard that they’re going to release the Seekers at seven o’clock,” James said, sliding back onto the bleacher beside Al. He was holding a turkey leg and a jug of pumpkin juice.

“It was seven o’clock six hours ago!” moaned Lily.

“Seven _a.m._ ,” James clarified.

“Why are we even here still?” Lily asked. “Nothing has happened in _hours_.” She glanced at the scoreboard. “Nothing except eighty-four goals for Gryffindor and ninety-one for Ravenclaw.”

“We’re here because the game isn’t over yet and your daughter is Gryffindor Keeper,” James reminded her. “You told her we’d all be at _every_ game this year after we missed the big Slytherin - Gryffindor game last season because of Aunt Myrtle’s funeral.”

‘“Right,” sighed Lily. “Well, at least it’s nice that your Dick’s had so much broom time today. Reserve players don’t usually get….”

“Richard,” corrected James, with the air of someone who’s had to make that correction one too many times. “And yes – I yelled myself hoarse the first nine times he scored but as he’s now scored – ” He paused to look at the stats board. “Twenty-eight times, I can’t even be bothered to clap anymore.”

“What’s wrong with those blasted owls?” complained Al, shaking his mobile and gazing up at the cellular owl tower over the press box.

“They’re nocturnal, you dolt,” said Lily. “They’re flying off to hunt. Look – there are only four or five of them there now. The signal’s bound to be more distorted.”

“Whoever came up with the idea of dampening magical interference of technology with post owls should be Crucio’d,” James stated with a yawn. “Expecting owls to stay put on tower perches is like expecting Kindergartners to eat their vegetables.”

“Or like expecting Al to pay you back when he borrows five Galleons,” said Lily.

“Hey! I paid you back – didn’t I?” Al shook the mobile again, then grinned. “That did it – give me a sec and I’ll see what he sent.”

“Probably just another picture of one of them in a Speedo,” groaned Lily. “I’m not sure I can take another one.”

“Whatever it is, it’s going to be a hell of a lot more exciting than this game,” muttered James, leaning in to get a closer look at the screen.

“Cuuuute,” said Al, rolling his eyes. “Dad and Snape cuddled up on the same lounge chair.”

“There should be ship rules controlling that sort of behavior,” Lily said. Al handed her the mobile, and she peered at the photograph.

“You and your rules – you sound just like Aunt Hermione,” said James.

“Do you mean the Aunt Hermione who is still happily married to Uncle Ron?” Lily asked. “ _That_ Aunt Hermione? The one who isn’t on a cruise with her ancient _boyfriend_ embarrassing herself by sitting between his legs on a deck chair and looking like he hasn’t showered in a week?”

“Yep, that’s the one. And I’m really not sure I’d say they’re _happily_ married – Hugo told me….”

“Oh mother of Merlin!” exclaimed Lily. She was pinching in on the photograph, zooming in on her father’s hand resting nearly atop Severus’ on his belly – clearly not listening to James’ rather shocking revelation. “That’s – that’s – no. No no no no no!”

James and Al leaned in at the same time, bonking the tops of their heads together.

“What? What is it?” said Al.

“They’ve got _rings_!” moaned Lily. “Rings!”

“What? Where?” Al grabbed his mobile and squinted. 

“Alright,” he said after a very long moment in which all three of the siblings did little more than stare at what clearly seemed to be matching gold bands on matching left ring fingers. “Alright. So…this cruise….”

“Is a honeymoon cruise?” whispered James.

“He said they just wanted the extra room! He said _anyone_ could book a honeymoon suite. He….he…. _lied_! Dad _lied_ to us!” Al snorted. “He duped us. Brilliant!”

“I ran into Dad a few weeks ago coming out of Love Birds. He told me he was shopping for a gift for Gran’s 100th birthday! And I believed him!” James looked more upset at being tricked by his father than by the news he had a new stepfather. 

“What are you talking about?” Lily asked. She was clearly distraught.

“Love Birds – that new shop on Diagon Alley that sells jewelry and music boxes. You know - ‘Rings and bling and things that sing - Love Birds – your one-stop shop for the one you love.’”

“And you didn’t think it was odd to find Dad there? Really?” Al rolled his eyes and Lily sniffed.

“Don’t cry, Lils.” Al put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“I’m not going to cry.”

“You’re biting your lip. It’s your tell. You’re going to cry.”

“Of _course_ I’m going to cry! Our dad just got _married_! On a _cruise ship!_!” Her face began to crumple. “And I wasn’t there!”

“I thought you were upset because he married Snape,” said James. “Remember? Snape? Old enough to be Dad’s father? Uglier than a garden gnome with spattergroit?”

“Auuugghhhh!” Lily dropped her head into her hands and sobbed.

Al rubbed her shoulders and glared at James, who shrugged.

“Girls.”

~ ~ ~At the Grand Buffet ~ ~ ~

“I am not eating at this buffet again, no matter how many varieties of puddings they offer,” Severus said. “It is loud, crowded and extremely unsanitary.”

“But they have treacle tart,” Harry said. “Covered with soft-serve vanilla ice cream. And sprinkles.”

“I consented this time only to take your mind off your children’s silence. May I remind you – again – that it is not yet morning in London? Enjoy your last hours of peace while you can, Harry.”

_Ping!_

Harry, spoon still in his mouth, froze. They both looked slowly down at the mobile on the table beside Harry. Severus sighed.

“Go on, then,” he said. “Look.”

Harry reached for the device.

“Glad you and Severus are having a good time,” he read aloud. 

“Severus?” Severus frowned. “They never refer to me as Severus.”

“Is there a shortage of lounge chairs on the ship?” Harry continued. 

“Weak,” quipped Snape. 

“Looks like the tip of Severus’ nose is sun-burned. You’d better get him a bigger hat.”

“They are certainly not getting points for Gryffindor from me.”

“And you both could use a shower – separately, of course,” Harry read on.

“Of course,” said Severus.

“And for the record, Lils says she’s looking forward to planning your _real_ wedding when you get home. Congratulations, you two.”

Harry’s face broke into a wide grin. Even Severus allowed his lips to quirk upward.

“They sent a picture.”

“Did they now?”

Harry held out his mobile and Severus leaned in.

The three Potters – James, Lily and Al – sat arm in arm in the Hogwarts Quidditch stands. The moon was clearly visible over the scoreboard behind them.

“And they claim _we_ need showers,” muttered Severus. “They look like they’ve just arrived after a six-hour international Floo connection. Why are they in the stands at night, anyway?”

“Look at the scoreboard,” said Harry. 

“Gryffindor 2880 / Ravenclaw 2910.” Severus smiled. “And to think you had to apologize in advance to Richard and Andrea because you couldn’t make the game.”

“Best thing that ever happened to me,” laughed Harry.

“Really? The best thing?”

“Second best,” corrected Harry, pocketing his mobile and looking at his empty plate, then up at Severus. “Fancy a cup of tea, Mr. Snape-Potter?”

“Only if we can drink it in our hot tub while we watch ourselves make utter fools of ourselves on _The Newlywed Game._ ”

“Hell with the tea – we’ll break out that other bottle of champagne from the honor bar, forget the _Newlywed Game._ ” and have a repeat of the other night.”

They pushed their chairs back, a bit too quickly, and Harry stumbled over his feet extracting himself from the crowded seating area.

“I do enjoy the feeling of your cock in my champagne-filled mouth,” Severus murmured, in his “brew fame and stopper death” voice. 

“Who knew?” said Harry, taking Severus’ arm and dodging an elderly couple on matching electric scooters.

“Just for the record – we are not holding another wedding ceremony when we get home,” Severus said as they pushed into an elevator with the after-lunch crowd. 

Harry, with hot tubs and champagne and effervescent bubbles and Severus’ tongue on his cock on his mind, nodded. He’d have agreed to wear a clown wig and frilly pants and pose for photographs with intoxicated passengers for one of Severus’ champagne blowjobs.

“Lily can be very persuasive,” he warned.

“Lily is accustomed to getting her way,” Severus said. “Hence, her issues with me. I sometimes think the boys have been slow to accept me only because they find it easier to deal with you when you’re upset than to deal with their sister.”

“I’ll send her a photo or two from the ceremony – let her see that we did it properly.”

Severus rolled his eyes. He did not look convinced, but it was an argument for another day. They had a bottle of champagne and a hot tub waiting for them somewhere in this maze of narrow corridors with its confusing room numbering system and obstacle course of laundry carts and supply trolleys. 

“I suppose I might consent to something small – something private, and traditional – or, better said, boring,” Severus said as Harry began the laborious process of keying into their room with the magnetic card that did not respond well around their magic. “Although I imagine Lily has already booked the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch.”

Harry grinned as the door finally opened, took Severus by the hand, and pulled him inside.

~ ~ ~At Hogwarts Castle: In The Great Hall~ ~ ~

“They should get married on brooms,” suggested Andi. Despite the reservations of their parents, Harry’s grandchildren had readily embraced both the idea of their grandpa Harry married to Severus Snape and the prospect of a wedding to formalise the arrangement.

“Severus is well into his eighties, Andi,” Al explained. “I’m afraid brooms are not an option.”

“Snape? When’s the last time you saw _Dad_ on a broom?” James asked under his breath. 

“You do know they make brooms for old people, don’t you?” asked Andi. “They have big cushy seats and safety restraints and even sideview mirrors. We saw one at Quality Quidditch Supplies this summer – the Galactic Glacier. It’s made by Lucent Brooms and comes in one-seater and tandem styles.”

“Brooms!” exclaimed Lily, pivoting away from the conversation she was having and swiveling toward her daughter. “It would work best for Mum, but as she’s not getting married….” She turned toward her brothers, clearly enraptured by the idea. “I can picture them flying in with silver and gold streamers fanning out behind them….” She trailed off, and her eyes grew very big and very bright. “Do you suppose,” she began, thinking aloud. “Do you suppose each member of the wedding party could hold the end of one off the streamers and fly into the stadium in formation?”

“With flowers in our hair!” exclaimed little Renee, Al’s daughter. At seven, she was the youngest of the grandchildren. She’d come back to catch the final minutes of the Quidditch game with her mum and had stayed for a celebratory post-game breakfast in the Great Hall.

“You can’t ride a broom yet,” said Al, dropping a kiss on her head. Her mum’s age restriction – _nine years old and I’m not budging_ – was a bone of contention in the family.

“I can ride with Andi! I can be the passenger!”

“I think Severus and Harry should plan their own ceremony, if they choose to have one here. After all, they’ve already had quite a lovely one on that ship.”

Minerva McGonagall slid carefully onto the bench at the table the Potters were occupying. She eyed the utilitarian everyday tea caddy, then twirled her wand, replacing it with a lavishly laden tea service. She calmly prepared her tea and took a grateful sip.

“About that ceremony – I wouldn’t exactly call it lovely,” said Lily, as politely as possible. After all, she was addressing Professor McGonagall, her former headmistress, and she had a great deal of respect for the woman, never mind her slightly eccentric behavior since retiring from her long-held position. “One of the witnesses was holding a spray bottle of cleaning fluid and the other was holding a monkey made out of a towel.”

“Well, be heartened that the venue was clean, then,” said Minerva, winking at Al. 

“Earlier, out in the stands, you said something I’ve been wondering about,” Al said, helping himself to a scone. “You said - well, you insinuated - that my dad and Severus have been dancing around each other for a long time, but we thought they only reconnected after that Floo accident.”

“About that Floo accident….” Minerva began.

“What about it?” Lily lowered her tea cup, looking at Minerva suspiciously.

“Wait….” the conversation had caught the attention of the usually-oblivious James. “Dad ending up in Snape’s private lab instead of in his own house after the fifty-year commemoration of Dumbledore’s death _was_ an accident, wasn’t it?”

“It most certainly was!” Minerva replied. “Your father had no intention of going to Severus’ lab and was most certainly surprised to find himself there. So accident it was - on his part, at least.”

“What do you mean?” Lily looked from one brother to the other, then back at Minerva. “Wait - it was Snape? _Snape_ rigged the Floo?”

Minerva, eyes shining in merriment, took a delicate sip of tea. She frowned, then touched the cup with her wand to warm it up, sipping again before resting the cup on its delicate saucer and looking up at the three Potters.

“Severus? Most certainly not. He’s been avoiding these death day commemorations from the beginning, which is certainly understandable. And that was a special one- wasn’t it? Fifty years.” She sighed, and her eyes took on that faraway look that Harry’s had when he spoke about Remus or Sirius. “Fifty years…” She blinked away the nostalgia and focused on her audience again. “I think you would agree that the majority of the Wizarding world believes that Severus’ actions, in following Albus’ orders, laid the path for your father’s role, and the demise of Voldemort. Your father most certainly sees it that way. Severus, however, is, perhaps, too close to the matter to see it just so. It is, indeed, true enough that your father and Severus hadn’t seen much of each other since your father left Hogwarts and joined the Aurors, and that they had not corresponded. But as they are men of a certain fame, both being in the public eye due to their chosen professions, they certainly knew what the other was up to. One had only to open the _Daily Prophet_ to read about the professional exploits of either, or to check _Witch Weekly_ or _The Quibbler_ for the not-so-professional side of things.”

“I still don’t see what _you_ have to do with this,” Lily interjected. 

Minerva settled her gaze on Lily. “Your father and I are friends, child,” she explained, her voice subdued. “Good friends, actually. I got to know him quite well in the year following the Final Battle. I came to understand his motivations as he worked to clear the former headmaster’s name and was with him when the news arrived that Severus had finally woken from his long coma. Over the years - as you, and your children, have passed through Hogwarts - we have frequently corresponded, formally, informally and in person. And through all that time, I maintained a similar relationship with Severus Snape. He was gone from Hogwarts by the time you three started here, but he was frequently in my office during his years on the Board of Governors, and I was his guest more than once at a Potions symposium.”

James and Lily exchanged a glance, which Minerva did not miss. She laughed, and her eyes crinkled in delight. “No - not what you are thinking,” she said. “I am only trying to illustrate to you that I was - and still am - very close to both Severus and Harry, but somehow those two _missed_ it. I made it a practice not to speak about one to the other, as each spent quite a bit of time talking about the other and I didn’t want to be _that_ friend - the one in the middle sent back and forth as messenger. They generally complained about the other. Potter was too sentimental, too optimistic, too unrealistic. Snape too cold, too selfish to participate in the rebuilding, or to celebrate with the other survivors. Merlin help me the day Severus found out Harry had given his son his name!” She wiped her eyes, and it was hard to tell if she was laughing or crying. “Poor thing still doesn’t think that name is worth very much, you realise,” she said, looking significantly at Al. 

“I’ve always liked it,” he said. He reached across the table and covered one of her hands with his. “Tell me if I’m wrong,” he said, “but I’m beginning to thing _you_ must have been responsible for the Floo spitting out my dad in Snape’s private lab that night.”

“Al!” exclaimed Lily. “Professor McGonagall wouldn’t do that! Can you imagine how difficult it would be to engineer a Floo misdirection? We all know who’s in charge of the Department of Magical Transportation - and he’d _never_ allow someone to muck with the works of the Floo network!”

“Uncle Percy has a stick up his arse a meter long,” said little Renee, very seriously.

“Renee!” exclaimed Al. “Where in the world did you hear that?”

“Why does he have a stick in his arse?” she asked, canting her head and looking at her father imploringly. “DId he sit on it?”

“Didn’t you want to see Hagrid’s nifflers?” asked Renee’s mum, coming in for the rescue.

“Nifflers!” exclaimed Renee, grabbing her mother’s hand and dragging her toward the door, the stick in Uncle Percy’s arse momentarily forgotten.

“Alright - spill it,” said Al. “How in the hell did you get Uncle Percy to let you redirect that Floo?”

“Wait a minute,” said Lily. “Andi, who’s Head Girl this year?”

Andi heaved a sigh. “You _know_ who’s head girl, Mum.”

“Just tell me again, please,” said Lily.

“Lavinia,” sighed Andi. “And she’s _useless_. Afraid of everything - won’t go on rounds by herself. The prefects do all the work for her.”

“Lavinia,” mused James. “Lavinia Weasley, I assume? Uncle Percy’s granddaughter?”

The faces turned to Minerva wore expressions of delight, dismay, disgust and disappointment.

“Really, Professor McGonagall?” asked Al. “You bribed Uncle Percy?”

Minerva shrugged. “It was worth it,” she said with a twinkle worthy of Albus Dumbledore. “Headmistress McGregor was happy to listen to my recommendation. Once she’d committed, Harry slid out of the Floo into Severus’ lab at the next opportunity - which happened to be the evening of the Dumbledore commemoration party. Your father was already riled up about Severus’ absence and, fortunately, he’d had a glass or two of bubbly before he departed.”

“And the rest is history,” sighed Lily. 

“Buck up and get on with your lives,” said Minerva. “Severus is a good man or your father wouldn’t have him.”

“But he’s so...unpleasant.” Lily looked over to her brothers for support, but Al looked amused by the whole affair and James looked thoughtful.

“He’ll grow on you,” Minerva said. “You’ll actually find it quite useful to have a world-renown Potions master in the family.”

“Hey - Dad. Can Snape help me with Potions? I’d about given up on that N.E.W.T.”

“How did you think you’d be getting into the Aurors without it?” asked James, frowning at his son. When RIchard looked quickly away, James shook his head. “Grandpa is _not_ going to pull strings for you, young man. He got in on his own merit even though the department waived the requirements for him. He went back to Hogwarts after the Battle and sat for his N.E.W.T.s with the seventh years, including Gran.”

“You sound just like Mum,” Al said, elbowing his brother.

“Professor McGonagall – you must know Snape doesn’t like us.”

Minerva studied Lily’s face for a long moment, considering her words carefully.

“Is it so important that he _like_ you?” she asked. “I suggest you first develop respect for each other, and then work on becoming friends, or at least polite acquaintances. How well do you know him? Have you asked him about his work? Taken an interest in anything he and your father do together?”

“Ugh. That - I just can’t….”

“You children have one-track minds. Get them out of the gutter and invite your father and Severus to dinner. Or plan an excursion with the whole family - a picnic at the Burrow, perhaps? James - I hear you’re the chess prodigy in the family. Challenge Severus to a game of chess! I hear he’s beaten your Uncle Ron a time or two.”

“No one beats Uncle Ron!” exclaimed Andi, awed.

“Ask him,” said Minerva with a smile. She stood then, Vanished the tea service with a twirl of her wand, and leaned down to brush a kiss over Lily’s cheek.

“It will all work out,” she whispered. “But it’s not Severus’ responsibility to claw a place for himself in this topsy-turvy family of yours. It’s up to you to rearrange some things and make room for him.”

She waved a hand that looked much more frail than it actually was and moved slowly over to the head table to visit with the headmistress.

“I suppose she’s right.” Lily smiled bravely at her brothers. “It’s time for me to stop concentrating on how unpleasant Snape is, and how wrong he is for Dad, and how much _better_ Dad could have done if he’d even _looked_ at the profiles I flagged for him on….” She trailed off as Al cleared his throat. “Right. New day - new start. But a picnic at the Burrow? I suppose she’d have us invite Mum, too.”

“Oh, no need,” came Minerva’s voice from a few feet away where she’d stopped to chat with a student. “Your mum and Arthur had dinner with Harry and Severus a few weeks ago. Got along famously, or so I’m told. Turns out Arthur grew up in Manchester. He and Severus had quite a bit in common.”

Lily’s eyes went wide as she dropped her head to the table with a _clunk_. 

“Parents,” she muttered. “Kill me now.”

~ ~ ~Together Again ~ ~ ~

“And the circus begins,” thought Severus as he stepped out of the International Floo to find Harry already in the embrace of his daughter while at least a dozen other people swarmed around them like a flock of impatient Snitches.

“Severus!” exclaimed a familiar voice and he smiled, trying very hard not to listen to whomever was shrieking at Harry about his selfishness at not sharing this very special occasion with all of those who love him.

“Don’t listen to them,” said Minerva as he bent down to kiss her cheek. “If you had to share your wedding with all those who love Harry, you’d have to rent a Quidditch pitch to fit them all in.”

“I do realise that,” he said. “And while I have a chance to say it, and cannot possibly be overheard, thank you, you interfering old biddy.”

“That blasted owl _did_ make it, then,” she said. “He looked at the address of your hotel in Los Angeles and nearly had a coronary.”

“Harry took pity on him and let him roost on the floor lamp overnight,” Severus said. “We both insist you tell us what you did to wrench a favor like that out of Percy Weasley.”

She laughed, but he didn’t hear her story that day, for Albus Severus was waiting to welcome him, and after him James, then Hermione and Ron, and finally Lily.

Severus noted, as Lily greeted him and kissed his cheek, that the commotion around them had died down. Everyone seemed interested in how this particular encounter would play out.

But Lily, perhaps coached by her brothers and her Aunt Hermione, or perhaps taking Minerva’s advice to heart, simply said, “I would have loved to have been there. It’s not every day one gets to attend her father’s wedding.”

She looked at him quite earnestly, and Severus felt Harry’s hand around his waist as his husband stood with him, perhaps happier now than he had ever been. 

He cleared his throat.

“Perhaps - perhaps we could have something - something small, for the family,” he said, because it felt wrong _not_ to renege on the pronouncement he’d made on the ship.

The hand at his waist squeezed slightly and, oddly, his heart swelled.

“I’m going to be the bridesmaid,” said Renee, tugging on her grandpa’s hand. “And since I can’t ride a broom by myself yet, because of Mum’s stupid _rules_ , Andi says she’ll bring me in on hers.”

Harry and Severus turned at once to look at Lily.

“Excuse me,” said Harry, “But this sounds like a plan - and not a very good one.”

“Oh, it’s good alright, Grandpa!” exclaimed Renee. “You’re coming in on brooms too, of course, with ribbons and streamers! And there’ll be fireworks from Uncle George, and Uncle Ron is going to fly the getaway car with you and Grandpa Sev’rus in it! I heard Uncle James talking to him and he promises to avoid the Forbidden Forest.”

Severus smiled weakly.

“Don’t take her seriously,” Harry assured him. “She’s got a very vivid imagination….”

“It’s going to be a double wedding!” exclaimed Renee. “With Grandma and Arthur! The getaway car was her idea! Besides, I can’t be a bridesmaid unless there’s a bride and Grandma says I can wear orange if I want to, even though the colours are supposed to be teal and rose and did anyone decide if Uncle Charlie can _really_ bring a dragon?”

“I’m going to be sick,” said Severus. “Home. Immediately.”

“Excellent idea,” said Harry.

They spun on the spot and were gone in a trice, and no one - not Al, or James, and certainly not Lily, knew precisely where home was for the newlyweds.

“Very good, Renee!” said Al, scooping her up and giving her a hug. “You did a wonderful job remembering all those things.”

“We may never see them again,” laughed Lily. “In hindsight, maybe we shouldn’t have gone quite so far.”

“After they went off and got married on a cruise ship?” said James. “And sent us pictures of themselves in Speedos?”

“Right,” conceded Lily, recalling the beach volleyball photos with a shudder. “Come to think of it, we probably didn’t go far enough.”

**Author's Note:**

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